Presents & Presence

I started asking my children (age 15 and up) what they wanted for Christmas during the cooling days of September. I know it's a dangerous question, because they're not really going to consider my bank account when they respond. And why should they? My husband and I have worked hard to meet the needs and desires of our children over the course of their lives. Our desire is to bless them, and somehow we've decided that "stuff" blesses them. The truth is, much of my Christmas shopping is done and I'm fairly pleased with the purchases and I sincerely believe my children will be blessed. But if I take Dave Ramsey's advice to heart, then perhaps it's not really stuff that they or any of us TRULY want or need. Dave suggests that we ought to consider "giving people less stuff and more of ourselves—more genuine care, time and attention."

Presents are nice, but presence is better.

So perhaps the question we could be asking our loved ones is "What would you like to DO for Christmas?" Things like baking cookies, snowman making, chopping down the tree together, making a cool craft, having a special brunch together with favorite foods, visiting a sick or elderly friend, or shopping for a less fortunate family are just a few possible ideas. Christmas activities enjoyed together are more likely going to leave a lasting impression, creating a cherished Christmas memory that may turn into a tradition handed down to coming generations.

I've found that this approach may be easy on the pocketbook, but it could actually cost more in precious time. If my son wants to spend some time with the family driving through the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights, we need to be willing to find the time in our schedule for that special occasion. It could mean I need to remove something that might feel more important - but in the long run, is just another time stealing non-essential event. To make room for the simple moments, I need to be willing to say "no" to those things that feel so crucial.

I've made a Christmas "do" list of my own: This year, I'd like to spend some time singing carols with a sick friend. I'd like to hear a choir sing Handel's Messiah. I'd like to make Christmas cookies with my grandchildren. I'd like to take an evening off to sit by a roaring fire and relax with my family. I'd like to Skype with my daughter and son-in-law who live in Italy. And I'd like to be intentional about connecting with family, friends and strangers, sharing the love of the One whose life we celebrate. The financial cost of my wish list is near zero, oh but the personal value is absolutely priceless.

What do you want to do for Christmas?