I have some truly wonderful Christian friends who are more like family to me than anything else. We get along well, worship together, and find many things to talk and laugh about.
Recently several of us were at a celebration, sitting at a big round table, preparing to enjoy some food together, when a young mom and her 8-year-old daughter came and sat at our table. They sat directly across from me. She introduced herself to all of us and we exchanged the normal niceties but then continued to talk and laugh among ourselves. With so much in common, and so much history with one another, it was easy to keep the flow of conversation going. Unfortunately, we weren't making any effort to include our new table-mates in our riveting discussion. To include them, would require some measure of boldness and could be very awkward. It's interesting how we can sometimes view ourselves as very open and fun-loving -- not recognizing we're only like that when we're with "our own kind". I guess that's really more sad than interesting. Jesus told us to go and preach the gospel and make disciples, but we can't even figure out how to say, "Hi."
God made us for relationship. We are all desperate to feel the love and acceptance of others, sometimes so much so, that we forget that those "others" are also in desperate need. In our insecurity, we clamor for affection and approval through relationship, but then once we feel relatively content with our relationship quota, we stop looking to connect. "I'm friends with you and you're friends with me....what do we need her for?" The truth is, maybe she needs YOU - or rather maybe she needs the Jesus that's inside you. (and maybe you need the Jesus that's inside her!)
I've been thinking and praying about this quite a bit lately - trying to analyze why it is we prefer to stay cloistered in our social-networking world. While thinking this stuff through, I believe the Lord has put a challenge before me that I've really hesitated considering too seriously. I believe He's asking me to intentionally connect with a different stranger every single day for the rest of this month (July, 2010). I've hesitated because I recognize I really do live a cloistered life, literally spending hours each week in the basement of our church working on administrative type tasks. I'm afraid days will go by when I don't even come across a stranger that I could connect with and I'll fail the challenge. But because I really do believe God is the One behind this "experiment" of sorts, I also believe He will provide the people He wants me to connect with - friends I've simply not yet met. I also believe He'll probably train me in boldness, push me past my fear of the cold-connection, and help me find some confidence in just talking with strangers.
And so...the challenge begins.
Here are a few parameters:
A "Stranger" is someone I have not yet met, or established any sort of relationship with.
A "Connection" is something that gets past the "Hi. How are you. Have a nice day" stage. It means actually finding out something meaningful about that person - making a real connection and remembering their name the next day.
I won't limit myself to just ONE connection per day, however, I will look for at least one each day, even if I have to break out of the basement and go track down a stranger somewhere! :)
Just for fun, I plan to blog about each encounter here. I really want to learn about what makes the cold-connection so hard and what might help to make it a little bit easier. Mostly, I just really want to introduce you to these amazing precious ones that I would've otherwise overlooked.
Day 1 - Meet Lily. Lily is a beautiful young lady with much to say. She practically bounded into the church, full of life and energy. She was easy for me to connect with because of her own outward friendliness. In fact, I learned much from her, on this Day 1 of the Challenge to Connect. For instance: Just be you. No reason to put on airs and pretend to be someone you're not - that's too much work. Be assertive in your approach to the stranger by initiating conversation, but remain open so that they can see the real you too. It makes the stranger feel safe. (at least that's how I felt. "Safe" as assertive Lily initiated conversation and asked questions about me.) Lily likes exploring, likes new things, likes to eat, and likes strangers! Oh, and one other thing about Lily: she's three years old. :) I'm grateful God put her "first" in line of the new friends I'll meet this month. It may seem like an easy "connect" since she's only a child - but I do believe God put her first to encourage me not to overlook ANYONE in my pursuit to connect because "of such is the Kingdom of God." Thanks God - for Lily. Draw her to You, so she can know how very much You love her.
I can hardly wait for Day 2!
Yay! You're doing it:) I am encouraged in my pursuit of the same. Thanks for being you!
ReplyDeleteSo true! I often think of my Mom who, no matter where she went, was able to strike up a conversation with complete strangers. Many times while shopping or at an appointment, we'd have to wait for her because she was busy chatting with someone she'd just met. All it seemed to take was being interested in something about the person, and then taking the initiative to step out in conversation. I'm trying to be more like that!
ReplyDeleteAlso true is the fact that within the sphere of people we regularly see, we may have a certain group of friends we gravitate to and talk with. It's too easy to get caught up in conversation and feel secure in relationship with those we're comfortable with and forget there may be others-- even those we know-- who are on the fringe, longing to be invited in. I would include those in my classification of "strangers" as well, and pray for eyes to see and a heart that wants to exclude no one-- stranger or friend!