Keep Christmas in December!

So here's a short but helpful hint to simplifying Christmas and decreasing the stress load...

Consumer Reports just released a study that found 13.6 million Americans are still paying of credit card debt from the 2009 holidays. (I got this from Dave Ramsey.)

He wisely reminds us to keep Christmas in December! We need to remind ourselves and our loved ones that little Johnny won't become an axe murderer just because he didn't get some plastic stuff for Christmas. Let's commit to buy what we can afford based on our budget, then draw a line and stick to it! I think our Christmas holidays will be merrier, and we will enjoy less stress knowing that we gave out of what we had - and not what we borrowed. May God provide for your needs and grant you wisdom to know where the line is on spending this Christmas season.

Fa la la la la

No expense of time or money for this simple Christmas pleasure:

Turn the radio on and get some Christmas tunes permeating the atmosphere. Whether I'm decking halls, wrapping gifts, or frosting cookies, music goes a long way to put me in the mood for Christmas. I'm so grateful for this heavenly expression of heart and soul - God gave us music. Even the stores are piping "Joy to the World" through the air waves. It seems everyone agrees, music helps stir up Christmas spirit.

I had the privilege of hearing portions of Handel's Messiah tonight - live and in person. Imagine sitting in the middle of an old church, with high cathedral ceilings, perfect acoustics, an amazing full orchestra and a talented choir whose clear harmonies filled every corner of the room from floor to ceiling and front to back declaring with one loud and wonderful voice:

"Glory to God in the highest, and peace on earth, good will towards men!"

It was great.

Later on, in the comfort of my own home, I turned on my Pandora Christmas music - peaceful classical piano and guitar renditions of familiar carols. It makes the most mundane tasks a little merrier. I don't even mind the snow so much, if there's Christmas music playing somewhere. Eventually I went to our old piano, and plunked out a few Christmas hymns - sometimes I just need to allow my fingers to sing the themes of my heart.

Music is a gift given to us for God's pleasure and for OURS. Wasn't that nice of Him? Furthermore, we can enjoy it and worship Him with it any time of the year, but somehow Christmas is made a little "Christmassier" when there's music playing.

So, c'mon sing out loud and clear - Come Let Us Adore Him!

Happy Shopping

Christmas is just 21 days away. If we want to simplify Christmas and drop the stress of spending too much, we need to have started our shopping months ago. On the other hand, there's something to be said for some of the outstanding sales we can find at no better time than smack dab in the middle of the Christmas season! Last week, I found three pairs of perfect fitting pants from Old Navy for $1.73 each. Yesterday, I bought a beautiful $50.00 sweater from Kohl's and paid $1.82.

Stores want your business and they're competing with every other store you have access to so they're offering crazy deals! They're banking on the fact that once they've got you hooked by a crazy deal, you'll find a multitude of "must haves" on your way to the check-out. The trick is to do your homework and fiercely stick to the list.

How do you do your homework? You network with websites like slickdeals.net, where the bargain bloodhounds do the work and make it easy for you to find amazing gifts for nearly nothing. Now, I must give credit where credit is due: it's also a good idea to network with friends who are uniquely anointed by God with the spiritual gift of bargain hunting. They like to shop - but more than that, they can zero in on a bargain with lightning speed. Furthermore, they like it! I have one particular friend who is thus gifted. She knows me well and has a keen eye for sales opportunities I might not want to pass up. She regularly sends me links to major deals, many of which I pursue. I often think I probably ought to pay and keep her on retainer for the last two months of the year. She has saved me hundreds of dollars over the years.

One thing I find very beneficial is shopping online. When I'm in a store, I'm tempted by the plethora of product displayed in such a way as to entice me and unfortunately I often succumb to the pressure and buy what I don't need. I also get tired and weary from all the walking and hunting and bag carrying, so I end up picking up a green and purple sweater and say, "Eh, it'll do." I don't want to end up with "It'll do" purchases if I can help it. If you avoid online shopping because you're worried about the added shipping costs , I've found that most stores offer free shipping codes, and if not, they typically offer to ship your package to a local store for free.

With only 21 days left before Christmas, there's no time to waste. Now is the time to snatch up those deals. Soon, it will be too late to assure timely shipping not to mention the closer we get to Christmas, the more we feel like going with the "It'll do" approach and we end up spending far more than we planned on.

Happy Shopping! (Because there's fun in shopping - there's just no fun in obligatory gift buying pressure or debt.)

Presents & Presence

I started asking my children (age 15 and up) what they wanted for Christmas during the cooling days of September. I know it's a dangerous question, because they're not really going to consider my bank account when they respond. And why should they? My husband and I have worked hard to meet the needs and desires of our children over the course of their lives. Our desire is to bless them, and somehow we've decided that "stuff" blesses them. The truth is, much of my Christmas shopping is done and I'm fairly pleased with the purchases and I sincerely believe my children will be blessed. But if I take Dave Ramsey's advice to heart, then perhaps it's not really stuff that they or any of us TRULY want or need. Dave suggests that we ought to consider "giving people less stuff and more of ourselves—more genuine care, time and attention."

Presents are nice, but presence is better.

So perhaps the question we could be asking our loved ones is "What would you like to DO for Christmas?" Things like baking cookies, snowman making, chopping down the tree together, making a cool craft, having a special brunch together with favorite foods, visiting a sick or elderly friend, or shopping for a less fortunate family are just a few possible ideas. Christmas activities enjoyed together are more likely going to leave a lasting impression, creating a cherished Christmas memory that may turn into a tradition handed down to coming generations.

I've found that this approach may be easy on the pocketbook, but it could actually cost more in precious time. If my son wants to spend some time with the family driving through the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights, we need to be willing to find the time in our schedule for that special occasion. It could mean I need to remove something that might feel more important - but in the long run, is just another time stealing non-essential event. To make room for the simple moments, I need to be willing to say "no" to those things that feel so crucial.

I've made a Christmas "do" list of my own: This year, I'd like to spend some time singing carols with a sick friend. I'd like to hear a choir sing Handel's Messiah. I'd like to make Christmas cookies with my grandchildren. I'd like to take an evening off to sit by a roaring fire and relax with my family. I'd like to Skype with my daughter and son-in-law who live in Italy. And I'd like to be intentional about connecting with family, friends and strangers, sharing the love of the One whose life we celebrate. The financial cost of my wish list is near zero, oh but the personal value is absolutely priceless.

What do you want to do for Christmas?

Christmas: Let's Simplify

December 1, 2010

Now that Thanksgiving is over, we're all on the exciting fast track to Christmas! It began on Black Friday when bleary eyed bargain hunters lined up outside their favorite stores at painfully early hours of the morning, waiting for the security guy to open the front doors. I hope the store pays that security guy well, for surely he will end up trampled underfoot at 5:01 a.m., as shoppers press onward, completely focused on grabbing the last mini-food chopper on the shelf, on sale for just $5.95!

Throughout the month of December, people (and especially moms) who are already too busy, add to their heavy loads, the pressure of making Christmas extraordinarily memorable...yet again this year. Not only are there the perfect gifts to get and wrap for each family member, but there's the hundreds of cookies to bake, the halls to deck, the dashing through the snow, the big meal to plan, the Christmas cards to write, the packages to ship, the school Christmas concerts to attend, not to mention the Christmas parties to plan, the drummers to drum, the pipers to pipe and a partridge in a pear tree! Phew! We're exhausted by the first week of December!

So this year, I've decided that I'm going to simplify. Don't applaud that decision just yet. I made the same decision last year as well - and the year before that. Just ask my children and they'll tell you. "Oh Mom - Yeah, she always says she's going to keep Christmas calm and simple, but then she still always goes nuts." It's true. The "problem" is - I love Christmas. I love almost everything about it. I don't prefer the pressure, but I love giving gifts, and making cookies, and decorating, and parties! I'm just not sure all my busy antics are really accomplishing the peaceful, love-filled, stress-free, Jesus-focused family holiday I always hope it to be. There has to be a way to have a truly wonderful Christmas, minus the outrageous spending, the time pressure and the general craziness that so often surrounds such a great season.

And so yes, yet again, I've decided that this year, I'm going to simplify. Maybe you've been thinking about the same thing. I'm hoping to write about some practical ways we can get back to basics. And I've decided to recruit some help, since clearly, I have trouble staying on the Simple Road to Christmas. For instance, I received an email on this very same topic from Dave Ramsey this morning. His suggestions were inspiring, but maybe you also have a suggestion for simplifying the Christmas season while still filling it with special moments and memories. I would appreciate hearing your thoughts! I'm thinking it's time to start a simple revolution to get out of the cyclone of whirling Christmas craziness that seems to increase with each year. I sincerely believe there's a way we can get through this month together, more aware of the Presence of Jesus and less concerned about...well, anything else.

First - Let's remember Who we are celebrating and commit to keep our eyes fixed on Him every day throughout this month. It's interesting how quickly I can lose my focus on the Person of Christ, while staying so busy planning His party. Lord, help me keep YOU the priority in everything.

And now - a little something from Dave Ramsey to help us in our quest:

"Focus on People Instead of Gifts: It's time to take the pressure off of yourself! Many of us assume that we have to do things so we don't disappoint people because "So-and-so loves how I buy this or do that for them." While they may appreciate those gestures, the truth is that people in your life love you for who you are, not what you do. Look back over your life and remember what has mattered most. Was it the fanciest events, or the simple moments centered on faith and family? This year, try giving people less stuff and more of yourself—more genuine care, time and attention."

I like it, Dave!

Beginning December with this goal in my heart: Love Jesus. Love Others. Simplify.

What are your suggestions for making Christmas extraordinary, while keeping it simple?

Mom

I've known June Edith Mauer for 32 years and called her "Mom" for 28 of those years. The truth is, she embraced me as her daughter long before I ever said, "I do" to her son, Andy. That's just the sort of gracious woman she is...er, I mean "was". I hate using the word "was". It abruptly snaps me into inescapable reality. Mom isn't with us any more. Ugh.

We lost her quite suddenly just five weeks ago, when a heart valve gave out. There were so many urgent decisions made on that day, so many difficult phone calls to make as we attempted to keep the family apprised of the dire situation. She left us quickly and peacefully on that day in October, but none of us were quite prepared for so great a loss. She was the matriarch of our large family, taking on a lead role since her husband, our Pop, suddenly left us just three years before. Now it was up to her children to come together, and make decisions regarding funeral arrangements, financial decisions and everything related to the estate left to our care. The details surrounding such an event certainly demand quite a bit of focus, but thanks to the grace of God, we have been carried through those details with relative peace and unity.

So, here we are one month later and the sadness that was partially eclipsed by so much busy-ness, is finding it's way to the surface of my heart, especially as the holidays ebb ever closer. It's like I haven't yet fully realized the finality of the situation. I find myself wanting to ask her questions about Christmas or Thanksgiving - our typical autumn conversational topics. And then, my heart sinks in that same moment as I realize she won't be there to answer those questions. She won't be decorating the Thanksgiving table this year, lighting the candles to provide the right atmosphere, or sitting at the head of the table next to our son, Phil. She won't be making an apple pie this year, or putting out the dish of junior mints following dinner. She, more than anyone in my life, taught me how to "do" holidays with gracious flare. That's why there's a part of me that dreads the holidays this year - because we have to celebrate without Mom's presence, the queen of holiday spirit. How do we walk through this?

By grace.

We will find God's grace as we remember that truly, we have more than our fair share of reasons to GIVE THANKS this year, and by remembering that Jesus, our Immanuel, WAS and IS her Lord and Savior, and for the first time, she will be able to celebrate HIM face to face this Christmas. We will find grace to celebrate her life, and thank the Lord for her tremendous impact upon each of our lives. Will I be sad? Absolutely. I miss her. But - more than that, I am confident that June, who has walked in a cloud of sadness for the past three years, is no longer sad, but rejoices that she's finally home - where she belongs.

Thank you Lord - for sharing "MOM" with us. We knew Your love, through this gracious woman and we couldn't be more grateful for that. Please, just hold our hearts during these coming weeks and help us hear You whisper the comfort that will soothe this ache. We lean on You.

Papa

I thought about sharing the following story in the third person - you know, change the names to protect the innocent and all that, but I decided I might as well tell it like it is.
It's a true story of love and restoration.

I grew up as the middle child of two hard-working parents who likewise raised their five children to be workers. Life at home wasn't real easy as my dad struggled with his moods, often exploding in anger, even upset to the point of tears which frightened me as a young girl. I learned early to be as busy as possible, working around the house to deflect any possible outburst of rage.

One Saturday (which was our official chore day), I decided to clean the TV room from top to bottom just to surprise my father, hoping for approval or at the very least, hoping to avoid any potential for another episode of anger. I was about nine years old and he was out working that day which gave me plenty of time to give myself to the task. I dusted and organized, vacuumed and straightened working all day until I felt quite pleased with my accomplishment. I had never worked so hard on one cleaning project before and was sure that my father would take one look and smile. I think that's all I was looking for - a smile. The assurance that for one day at least, our home would have peace.

Later on, my dad walked through the door of the house after a hard day, quiet and sort of grumpy but I was still hopeful. Eventually he came to check out how we did on our chores. In my excitement, I wanted him to come see the TV room first and so he obliged. I stood in the middle of the room, a smile on my face and my heart pounding, confident that I would witness a shift of approval on his countenance. I searched his face for the smile that would mean I did well, but instead I watched in horror as he took his forefinger and ran it across the top of the seven foot door frame. Oh no. I'm not sure I remembered him ever checking the top ledge of the door frame before but here he was... finding my failure almost as soon as he walked in the room. Upon finding the dust on his finger he said something like, "This place is a dump!" and my heart sank. Worse than that, something in my soul broke. I point to that occasion as a time when I stopped trying so hard to please my father. I still worked hard to stay out of trouble, but I didn't try so hard to win his approval, fearing the disappointment would be too much for me to handle.

I didn't think much about it again for years and years. I did what so many adults do with childhood memories - we tell ourselves to "Grow up and get over it." As adults we understand that our parents are imperfect and that everyone has issues. We dismiss the pains from memories, because it makes no sense to dredge up the past. It's better to forgive and forget - if possible. But somewhere around the age of thirty or so, this memory came back to me and strangely enough, it still stung.

I'm not really sure why I chose to bring it up to my father one day shortly after my thirtieth birthday. Our family was in the midst of a crisis and somehow I decided it was a good time to let him know that this was a difficult memory for me. We had a short, quiet conversation about it at their dinner table - just me, my mother and father. I warned my dad ahead of time that it might be difficult for him to hear and he said he felt a little scared about what I would say. When I told him my story (an event he hadn't remembered), he hung his head but didn't respond to me. Instead, my mother suddenly burst from her chair, rushed over to me in tears, and sobbed as she hugged me, apologizing for the pain. It sort of startled me, because I hadn't expected her to respond that way. I sort of expected my dad to respond that way, not that I wanted him to, it was just more typical for him to be the emotional one. Any way, there isn't any more to this part of the story. My father never really responded but I believed he generally felt badly about it and regretted the pain that experience caused me. And that was the end of that...

***

In the 18 years since that time (and almost 40 years since the day I cleaned that room), I have found a great deal of healing from all sorts of past painful memories, including this particular one. The Holy Spirit has graciously restored my heart and revealed the love of my Heavenly Father. He has walked me through forgiveness and releasing people who have hurt me. I look back to that day in the TV room, and I'm glad to say that my heart doesn't sink any more. I know my Heavenly Father smiles when He sees me. He's pleased, not because of my performance, but simply because I'm His little girl and because of that, I can know peace in my heart no matter what the circumstance. As a young girl, I wanted peace in my home - my Father brought peace to my heart. I will forever be grateful for His love that opened my eyes and healed my heart.

***
God is Good. So much better than we think.

My father is 78 years old. A few weeks ago, my husband and I went to my parents' home for a visit. While we were sitting in their living room and out of the blue, my father said to me, "Oh by the way, I've wanted to tell you something." I respond, "OK". He said, "I wanted to let you know that I'm sorry." I was puzzled. "Sorry? For what?" (I never heard my father verbalize an apology to anyone before this.)

"Do you remember about twenty years ago when you told me about the day when you were young and had cleaned the TV room and I found fault with your attempt, and hurt you?"

I was in shock. Wow. He remembered that? "Um...yes, I remember that."

"Yes, well I'm sorry. That was wrong of me - I should not have done that."

My mother wanted to quickly add that my father grew up never knowing he was loved and that it was because of his own brokeness he responded the way he did when I was a child. (It's like my mom to want to "fix" things. :)

My dad responded to her, "Yes, that may be true. But - it's no excuse. A Papa should never respond like that."

Papa. Did he just say, "Papa?"

What happened during and after the moment I heard that apology is difficult to describe. Do you know that sensation which happens when you drink down Nyquil? The liquid medication goes down your esophogus and into your stomach slowly and you sense the warmth of it sliding down , helping you feel better even upon contact. That's how it was when I heard my father apologize. Tangible healing flowed warmly down into my soul, spreading all over and touching deep areas of broken relationship and suddenly this man that terrified me all my life, became my Papa - my hero. He wasn't overly emotional when he apologized eaither, which was good, since I viewed his emotional-ness as an awkward weakness. His apology came from a place of strength, and yet he was obviously making himself incredibly vulnerable. I can't tell you how much it means that at the age of 48, I was given a "Papa". God didn't have to do that - but He did.

I am continually astounded by the measure of My Father's grace to go beyond all expectation and to meet my deepest needs - even those I didn't know I had.

Thank you for my Papa, Father. I love you both so very much.