Fear vs Truth

I'm not much of a collector. No stamps or rocks or seashells for me. Seems like a habit that needs to be nurtured over a long period of time - and for what? More stamps, more rocks, more seashells? No thanks.

I did, however, possess an impressive collection of fears. I didn't collect them on purpose of course. I'm not even sure when I started accumulating them or how each became a part of the collection. All I know is that I had more fears than could be counted. Many of them were your average sorts of fears. You know...fear of the dark, fear of falling, fear of storms - that sort of thing. I also owned several hard core fears that were like huge foundational blocks laid in the basement of my heart. Honestly, after I trusted in Jesus as my Savior, I assumed I was a "new creation", and should therefore just ignore those old issues and concentrate on making sure the rest of my house was neat and tidy. I didn't realize that when Jesus walked into the front door of my heart, he was packing tools and had plans for an EXTREME makeover.

For many years, I lived a "normal" Christian life - until the anxiety surfaced. I began to suffer from severe daily panic attacks and found it difficult to function. Out of the blue, a rush of terror would sweep over me, catching my breath away, raising my heart rate, causing chest pain and tempting me to flee the source of the fear. Unfortunately, I had no idea what the true source was, which only made the fear that much worse! Eventually I was afraid of things like shopping at the store, or going to sleep or getting my mail. This monstrous collection of fears had overrun my desperate life. I cried out to God to rescue me from this horrible hell - and he heard me.

The Lord spoke to me, "Quiet your soul and face those hidden fears. Not the whole blizzard of lies coming at you in the midst of an attack - but go deeper. Look past the barrage of demonic lies that want to confuse your focus. What are those old foundational issues, firmly established in the basement of your heart? List them, and then with each delineated fear, find scripture that refutes each lie."

I was afraid to look at them. I was afraid the fears were true and there was no defeating them. But, I was also sick to death of living in terror. I reasoned that if I found out that these fears were true, then at least I would know. Perhaps in the knowing, I could find some peace. I sat down and did my homework and it proved to be one of the most impactful assignments I ever worked through.

This is the list of the hard core fears of my heart from that time. I was brutally honest and named fears that any well respecting Christian might find hard to admit to. That was my trouble. I was afraid God would be mad at me for not having the faith I should have. I learned however that what he prefers is simple honesty. He wants me to expose my doubts, not hide them. Bringing fears out into the light is always better than keeping them in the dark. As I worked on my assignment, the Spirit of God revealed that these fears were indeed lies from hell which had been ignored over the years and covered up with good Christian intentions. In the end, Jesus took His word like a jackhammer in his strong, capable hands, and destroyed each fear one by one.

Lie #1 You don't and won't ever know the truth. ("You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." John 8:32)

Lie #2 Your sin is too wicked, God will not accept you. ("If anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father." 1 John 2:1)

Lie #3 God didn't choose you. ("You did not choose me, but I chose you..." John 15:15)

Lie #4 You are too weak to win the battle. ("Yet in all these things, we are more than conquerors." Romans 8:37)

Lie #5 God isn't strong enough this time. ("The Lord God Omnipotent reigns!" Rev. 19:6)

Lie #6 The Big Unknown - What if...?? ("Do not fear little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:32

Lie #7 You're going to go crazy. ("God is not the author of confusion, but of peace." 1 Cor. 14:33)

Seven lies - Silenced by truth.

"The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before your face; they shall come out against you one way, and flee before you seven ways." Deut. 28:7

It's amazing how dealing with a few core fears means freedom from dozens more. (For instance, because I know God reigns, I don't worry about getting the mail any more.) Following this glorious breakthrough, the Lord revealed to me, the bedrock of all my anxiety. My fears weren't really lies I was believing about me - they were lies I believed about about God, himself. I truly found the very deepest freedom from fear and anxiety, when I finally embraced three profound, yet simple truths: God is love, God is good, and God is able. When confronted with those basic facts, fear has no choice - it flees. I will forever be grateful to Jesus Christ, for taking me by the hand, walking me down those stairs into the dark, cold basement, and causing me to confront those things that held me captive for so many years. He's so good. Ahh...sweet freedom.