“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” Ecclesiastes 3:4
I’m feeling sad.
Sadness used to be a scary feeling I’d avoid at all cost. I think part of the reason for that is because I didn’t trust myself to be sad. It was like a mysterious black hole that could suck me in without any hope of surfacing to happiness again. I sidestepped sadness by ignoring the more difficult facts of life, hiding myself from painful feelings of sorrow, and by putting on my prescription strength rose-colored glasses. Somewhere along the way, in the course of the healing work of Jesus in my heart, He held my hand and encouraged me to walk through those shadowy valleys with Him. Psalm 23:4 says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” I find comfort in the promise of walking THROUGH and not being overcome and swallowed up by shadows. It doesn’t take the sadness out of those valleys, but it does remove the fear and gives me courage to put one foot in front of the other. I also find comfort in knowing I don’t go through those valleys by myself. I have a Friend who is acquainted with my grief and as cheesy as the “Footprints” poem can be, I know that there are times when walking through can feel just too hard. I need my Comforter to carry me. And He does.
I’m feeling sad because I have a friend, Lisa, who is very ill and is in the process right now, of passing from this life to the next. I’ve spent some time crying in the midst of my friend’s battle with this evil cancer-monster. The tears have increased in recent days, as it is apparent that her death is imminent. I’ve thought some about those tears, even as they spill uncontrollably, sliding down my cheeks. Why am I crying? I mean I know that she’s safe in the hands of God, and yet I cry. So, what are the tears about?
If I cry for Lisa, it is only because I hate the thought of her suffering, but the truth is, her pain has been relatively well-managed. I’m grateful for that. I’m sad that she leaves a teenage daughter she had hoped to raise to adulthood. Lisa told me just recently however, that she has a deep peace and trusts the Lord with her daughter and her future. Lisa’s salvation is secure; her love for the Lord, absolute. She’s on her way to a celebration of life, joy and freedom! So mostly, my tears aren’t for her.
So what are the tears about?
I cry because her little girl faces the prospect of losing her mom at a crucial time in life. I cry for Lisa’s husband – and pray he finds real Hope in all this. I cry for the broken hearts of her mom and dad, whose depth of pain, few can possibly understand. I cry for the heartache of many friends and family – but especially for those who do not yet know there is a Comforter who longs to heal their broken lives.
And I cry for me. I love my friend. I don’t want her to leave because if she does, it's going to hurt. I’m really going to miss her. I know I’ll see her again someday, and that takes the sting out of death, but it doesn’t necessarily remove the sadness of separation. Sorrow is real, and hard, and incredibly sad – but it’s ok. If you’ve loved much, then you’ve likely also known the profound pain of loss. It’s risky to love because of that potential for pain, but life isn’t really full without it. So, we live, we love, we laugh…and sometimes we grieve. I am grateful that we have the promise of getting through this valley, with God. This isn’t the end.
Lisa recently shared this scripture with her church family: Isaiah 43:2-3 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”
May we give one another room to grieve as God walks each of us through our own heartaches. May we comfort one another with the comfort with which we have been comforted. I pray we not avoid or ignore the sadness we feel, but I also pray that we not remain in the valley of the shadows. We can trust the Lord to lead us and carry us through those valleys, even when the sadness feels overwhelming. Finally, may we encourage one another as we look forward to that Day, when we will laugh and dance at the greatest family reunion ever conceived, worshiping the One who makes us one.
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4/4/11 8:00 AM Update: Lisa went home to be with Jesus this morning. Good-bye sweet friend. I rejoice with you and the all-consuming joy and peace that's yours right now. I grieve for the rest of us who will miss you dearly. I love you.
